How to Deal with Unfair Parents in Islam?

Guidance for Navigating Unfair Treatment from Parents in Accordance with Islamic Values


Parent-child relationships hold a special place in Islam, emphasizing respect, compassion, and love. However, there are times when individuals may find themselves facing challenges due to perceived unfair treatment from their parents. Islam provides guidance on how to deal with such situations, promoting patience, understanding, and seeking Allah’s blessings. This article explores how to navigate the complex emotions that arise when dealing with unfair parents in Islam.

Seeking Knowledge

The foundation of any Islamic practice is knowledge. Understanding the teachings of Islam and the rights and responsibilities of both parents and children can help in comprehending the dynamics of the relationship. By studying the Quran, Hadiths, and scholarly interpretations, individuals can gain insight into the ethical and moral aspects of dealing with difficult parental behavior.

Patience and Perseverance

Patience, or “sabr,” is a fundamental concept in Islam. When faced with unfair treatment from parents, it’s important to remain patient and steadfast. The Quran states, “And be patient, for indeed, Allah does not allow to be lost the reward of those who do good” (Surah Hud, 115). This patience isn’t a sign of weakness but a reflection of inner strength and trust in Allah’s wisdom.

Supplication (Dua)

Engaging in sincere supplication, or dua, is a powerful way to seek guidance and help from Allah. In times of hardship, one can turn to Allah with humility, asking for His assistance in dealing with the challenges posed by unfair parents. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “Dua is the essence of worship” (Tirmidhi). Through heartfelt prayers, individuals can find solace and strength to endure difficulties.

Maintaining Respect and Kindness

Despite the circumstances, Islam emphasizes maintaining respect and kindness towards parents. Even when faced with unfair behavior, the Quran advises, “And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, ‘My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small'” (Surah Al-Isra, 24). Treating parents with kindness, regardless of their behavior, reflects the essence of Islamic values.

Understanding Generational Differences

Sometimes, misunderstandings arise due to generational gaps and differing cultural contexts. Parents may hold certain beliefs or practices that appear unfair to their children. It’s important to approach these differences with empathy, understanding that perspectives evolve over time. Engaging in open and respectful conversations can bridge the gap between generations.

Consulting Wise Individuals

Seeking advice from knowledgeable and pious individuals within the community can provide valuable insights and perspectives. Religious scholars, mentors, or elder family members can offer guidance on how to deal with unfair parents in a way that aligns with Islamic teachings.

Forgiveness and Letting Go

Islam encourages forgiveness and letting go of grudges. Holding onto anger and resentment only perpetuates negativity within oneself. The Quran teaches, “Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the ignorant” (Surah Al-A’raf, 199). By forgiving parents for their unjust behavior, individuals free themselves from the burden of negative emotions.

Seeking Professional Help

In some cases, dealing with unfair parents might require seeking professional help, such as counseling or therapy. Islam acknowledges the importance of mental and emotional well-being. Seeking assistance from qualified professionals can provide strategies for coping with difficult situations and managing emotions.

Increasing Acts of Worship

Engaging in acts of worship, such as prayers, fasting, and charity, can bring a sense of peace and closeness to Allah. These acts not only serve as a means of seeking Allah’s pleasure but also help in coping with challenges and finding solace in difficult times.


Dealing with unfair treatment from parents in Islam requires a balanced approach that incorporates patience, understanding, and adherence to Islamic teachings. While it can be challenging to navigate such situations, individuals can find strength in their faith and the teachings of the Quran and Hadiths. Through seeking knowledge, practicing patience, maintaining respect, and relying on the power of supplication, Muslims can overcome the difficulties posed by unfair parents and work towards fostering a more harmonious relationship rooted in Islamic values. Remember, Allah is the source of ultimate justice, and turning to Him for guidance and support is a sure path towards navigating these challenges with grace and wisdom.

How to Deal with Unfair Parents in Islam?

While Islam emphasizes maintaining respect and kindness towards parents, it does not require individuals to endure abuse or harm. If the situation becomes emotionally or physically harmful, seeking distance while maintaining respectful communication may be considered, as long as it aligns with Islamic values.

How can I balance respect for parents with addressing their unfair behavior?

Islam teaches that respect for parents is paramount. Addressing unfair behavior should be done with kindness and humility, avoiding disrespectful confrontations. Engaging in open conversations, seeking guidance from wise individuals, and offering supplications can help strike a balance.

Is there a specific dua (supplication) to help deal with unfair parents?

While there isn’t a specific dua for this situation, you can make heartfelt supplications to Allah for guidance, patience, and wisdom in dealing with challenging circumstances. Using phrases such as “Ya Allah, grant me patience and understanding in dealing with my parents’ behavior” can be effective.

How can generational differences impact our perception of fairness in parental behavior?

Generational gaps and cultural differences can lead to varying perspectives on what is considered fair or unfair. Understanding that values and norms evolve over time can help in empathizing with parents’ viewpoints and finding common ground.

Is it acceptable to express my feelings of hurt and unfair treatment to my parents?

Expressing your feelings can be beneficial, but it should be done in a respectful manner. Avoid blaming or accusing language, and instead, focus on sharing your emotions and concerns calmly. Choose a suitable time and place for the conversation to ensure a productive dialogue.

Can seeking professional help for dealing with unfair parents be considered against Islamic teachings?

No, seeking professional help, such as counseling or therapy, is not against Islamic teachings. Islam recognizes the importance of mental and emotional well-being. Seeking help from qualified professionals is encouraged if the situation is causing significant distress.

What role does forgiveness play in dealing with unfair parents in Islam?

Forgiveness is encouraged in Islam as it helps release negative emotions and foster personal growth. While forgiving parents for unfair treatment is virtuous, it doesn’t mean condoning harmful behavior. It’s about freeing yourself from resentment and seeking Allah’s mercy.

How can acts of worship, like prayers and charity, help in dealing with unfair parents?

Acts of worship are not only a means to seek Allah’s pleasure but also avenues for finding peace and strength. Engaging in worship can help you manage your emotions, gain perspective, and develop a deeper connection with your faith, aiding in coping with challenges.

Can I make dua for Allah to change my parents’ behavior?

Yes, you can make dua for guidance and positive change in your parents’ behavior. However, it’s essential to recognize that Allah’s wisdom and will determine outcomes. Focus on your supplications and actions, while leaving the ultimate results to Allah’s divine plan.

How can I remain patient when dealing with unfair parents?

Patience is a virtue emphasized in Islam. Remind yourself of the rewards Allah promises for those who remain patient. Engage in regular dhikr (remembrance of Allah), seek support from your faith community, and maintain a positive outlook to strengthen your patience.

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